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and get along.
Spoken like a kid forced to play peacemaker between a pair of
bickering parents. All of a sudden, I had a very clear picture of
Matt s childhood.
Look, no one s going to make you invite him if you don t
want to, I said. At least, I won t. I can t speak for your mother.
She won t, either. She can t use the phone or write a letter
without help. It s the first time I ve ever been grateful for that.
All right, then. There s only one thing left to worry about& I
dropped my voice to a whisper. What s for dessert?
He burst out laughing. I know what I d like, but that ll have to
wait till we re alone. In the meantime, there s pie.
Homemade?
From the bakery. But it s still good.
Apple?
Peach.
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His tongue caressed that word just like I wished it were
caressing another part of me. My favorite.
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CHAPTER 15
Matt showed up at my office the following Friday afternoon,
looking as if a boulder had just fallen on him. He was actually
trembling. It alarmed me so much, I jumped up from my desk and
went over to him. What s the matter? Is it your mother?
N-No, it s& the concert committee called me in for a second
audition about an hour ago. But you weren t there.
I was genuinely thrown. That s because no one told me. I
didn t even know they were planning a second round. So, what
happened?
I didn t have anything else prepared, so I played the first
movement of the Sibelius. And I must ve done okay, because&
God, now he looked like he was ready to burst into tears. I got it.
They offered me the lead solo on the spot.
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I threw my arms around him. I had no doubts.
Well, I did! Especially when I got their note in class this
morning. I can t figure out what I did wrong the first time around.
I m sure they just wanted to see how well you perform under
pressure. For all his outward show of bravado, on the inside, Matt
was really just a scared little boy. What would he do when I wasn t
around to reassure him anymore? The thought made my heart ache.
It s a good thing I wasn t there this time. I probably made you too
nervous at the first audition.
It is pretty hard for me to stand up there and not wonder what
you re thinking.
You need to stop worrying about that. Soon you ll be flying
solo in every sense.
Don t make me think about that yet. He sucked in a breath.
They really seemed to like the Sibelius. They asked if I could start
preparing the whole concerto for the concert.
If I d beamed any brighter, I would ve turned into a
searchlight. That s wonderful! We ll start working on it right
away.
Matt didn t look anywhere near as enthusiastic. In fact, he d
started to go a bit green around the edges.
What s wrong? I thought this was what you wanted.
I-I know, but& why that concerto? I can t play it for shit!
Obviously they disagree.
You didn t!
I counted to ten before I replied, That was months ago.
You ve come a long way since then. You re ready to play the
Sibelius now. Hell, you re ready to play anything. All it ll take is a
little patience and hard work. But believe me, you can do it. I have
the utmost faith in you.
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I wish I did.
You will.
He kissed me deeply, desperately, while he clutched at my
shirt. I indulged him until he pushed me back against the edge of
my desk and dropped his hands to my belt, forcing me to reach
down and stop him. Take it easy. I ve still got an hour or two of
work left to do here.
Fuck that. I want to celebrate.
By fucking me? I can think of more comfortable places.
Namely, my bedroom.
Fine. But let s go out to dinner first.
Matt, you know we can t
God, I m so sick of hearing that! Who cares if people find
out? What re they going to do, kick out the head of the
performance department and their star pupil, a few weeks before
the end of the school year? You just said I don t need this place
anymore. Well, you don t need it either. I should walk out in the
hall right now and tell everybody we re lovers.
My breath hitched. Y-You wouldn t.
Of course I wouldn t. Not without getting your okay. But
Jesus, Aaron& I can t wait for the day when we don t have to
sneak around anymore.
I d grown weary of it, too. The weight of keeping our
relationship a secret sat on my chest like a brick. Sometimes I
thought I d suffocate from it. Six more weeks. It may as well have
been six hundred years.
Tell you what, I murmured. There s a little Italian joint right
around the corner from my apartment. They make the best cheese
lasagna in the city. Give me another hour or so to finish up here
and we ll go, okay?
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You really mean it?
Absolutely. I kissed him again and then tried to pull away,
but he wouldn t let go of me. Matt, c mon&
Sure you don t want a little& pre-dinner appetizer? he
murmured.
God, you re such a tease.
I thought that was what you loved about me.
True, though at the moment I found it more inconvenient than
arousing. But that might make for an interesting object lesson. I
want you to do something for me, I whispered.
Anything.
This time of afternoon you shouldn t have a problem finding
an empty classroom. I want you to take the Strad with you and go
practice the Sibelius. I want you to pour all the hunger and desire
and nervousness and fear and whatever else you re feeling into
your playing. Then I ll take you to dinner, and afterwards we ll go
back to my place and fuck until you re bow-legged. How s that for
a celebration?
He swayed in my arms, chuckling. Sounds great, except
you ve got me hard already.
Good. Use it; channel it. The Sibelius is an intense piece. It ll
take all the emotion you ve got, and more besides. One more kiss,
and I pointed him toward the door. Now, go.
I hurried, but it still took me an hour-and-a-half to slog through
the rest of my paperwork. Could ve been a lot worse if I hadn t
farmed some of it out to Gil. While I was a bit ticked that he hadn t
invited me to sit in on Matt s second audition, it was probably for
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